Causesand Effect of Divorce
Fromearlier generations to the current generations, couples have beenwilling and determined to live together in a union called marriage.However, various couples are incapable of sustaining theirassociation thus, they opt for divorce, which is considered as oneof the solutions to handling issues and complications among husbandsand wives. Although there is much hope and high expectation prior togetting to marriage, the numbers of divorces appear to rise thesedays consistently (Behrend-Martínez, 67). Hence, it might be saidthat divorces occur more easily than it was in the past. The majorityof the divorcing partners usually have young children whom do notcomprehend the current issues in their family. Usually, when adivorce takes place children are the most affected. As a result ofdivorce, children can either be positively or negatively affected.There are three key foundations of divorce that include shifting awoman’s duties, pressure in the current living, and impropercommunication. This paper aims at unveiling the various causes ofdivorce as well as looking at the various effects of divorce to thechildren.
Thefirst major reason for the rising number of divorce is that women aretotally altering duties. In the past, men were the only breadwinnersfor their families while their wives concentrated on home choresthereby relying fully on their husbands’ incomes. Due to thisreliance women could hardly divorce their husbands. Today, thesituations have completely changed with the call for the equalitybetween the two genders. Women can now do jobs for a living while menassist with household chores like cooking. This is a clear indicationthat it is not a must for a woman to rely on a man to meet the costof living. Amos, Green and Hampton (32), argue that there has beenthe rise of miss independent women accelerating the divorce rates
Further,the current economy leads to some cases of divorces globally. This isbecause the current economy put much pressure on majority of thepopulation rarely do people earn enough money to sustain their needsand status. The presence of children also heightens the stress amongindividual since they have the obligation and responsibility ofmeeting their needs regardless of their economic status. Theinability to give their children a comfortable and suitable lifestyleheightens stress among many couples the inability to provide for thefamily to some people can only be solved through a divorce. Also,with the current high rate of unemployment, it is easier and morelikely to encounter more divorce than it was in the past. It is clearthat stress in the current world has a high likelihood of causing therising rate of divorces. Rising rates of divorces may also beattributed to improper communication. The current financialconstraint among the married peoples renders them busy most of thetime. Therefore, in case of misunderstanding among the busy couple,they may lack time to sort out their differences thereby leading to adivorce. According to Lerner (35), some partners opt to keep quieteven if there is a problem heightening it to an unmanageable levelthus, resulting into a divorce. With proper communication, some ofthe divorces happening can be avoided.
Divorceis not a desirable thing, but at times it can turn to be positive toeither or to both the parents and children. Couples, who divorce byagreement from their spouses, are usually urged by the desire forimproved life as they are not contented in marriages. Consequently,they can concentrate on whatever they since they have conducive stateof mind. The reduced constant disturbances from their spouses alsoincreases the time for fruitful works rather than constant quarrels.The reduced quarrels between the spouses lead to mental health,especially to children. The change of the environment for thechildren enables the desired growth without much worrying that mayemanate from constant fights from the parent. Usually the fights leadto abuse of either one of the partners or both of them and at timesit can be extended to the children. When the divorce takes place,such children are protected from the face of these abuses. If theparents live happily after the divorce, then there is a highlikelihood that the same happiness will be impacted to the childrenas they look upon their parents. To some single parents, divorcemotivates them to work hard so as to keep their children well thanbefore in order to prove to the society and their divorcees that theyare able to maintain them. For such hardworking parents, the childrenbenefits as they do not worry about education among other necessitiessince they have able parents (Wilson, 245).
Mosteffects of divorce are negative. When a couple with childrenseparates the most effect goes to the children. Children who arebeing parented by single parents are faced by various challenges likeearly pregnancies, drug abuse, and have violently expressive andcharacter challenges, which result to interaction difficulties. Somechildren opt to escape from their home when the parent divorcethereby becoming homeless. Consequently, this leads to reducedopportunities for such children since they rarely complete theireducation. Therefore, law-breaking activities may be a probableoutcome for such children. Also, children of divorced parents maylose self-esteem due to the improper interaction of their parents.Chances of suffering among children with single parents are stillhigh. Some of the children even suffer psychologically as theyperceive themselves as the cause of such divorces. Since suchchildren have no knowledge for the main cause of the divorce, theystress themselves trying to figure out the cause of divorce. Sahgaland MangatRai (134) posit that as the children continue to grow theycreate a stronger bond with the parent who stays with them while attimes develops ill attitude to other parent. The developed illattitude has a high likelihood of making them lose trust on suchparent. At times the lack of trust may be extended to other peoplemaking these children unable to express their real feelings even totheir close friends. As a result, the children become uncomfortablewith being honest and this may upset the parent staying with them.
Majoremotions have a high chances of taking place especially, whentackling hard occurrences like divorce. Children appear to beinsecure and fear of what might happen in the future following thedivorce of their parents. Children from divorced family usuallyquestion their future because of uncertainties they seem to face.Sadness is among the main feelings of divorce it highly affect themanner in which children behaves and thinks. In their mind they mightbe contemplating that they will never be a full family again andtheir life appear to be at the end. For instance, the majority ofsuch children prefer avoiding fixing even the easiest problem facingtheir families as they perceive themselves incapable of anythingconcerning relationships. The continued sadness may result to stressor depression in the future. Additionally, the children may developanger as they do not comprehend or come into terms to the cause ofthe divorce hence, they may sometimes over-react even at theslightest provocation. If the children fail to understand thecondition or issues that led to the divorce, they may end up beingbitter for quite a long time. As a result of such bitterness they mayundergo a lot of pressure forcing them to prefer being at home tobeing at school. As a way of hiding their stress, such children willensure that they are fully engaged in activities, may it be at homeor school. Amos et al (212) observed that children from divorcedfamilies tend to value families while others prefer to remain single.However, emotions are common to all humans, children need, at timesto express, their feelings to mature people so as to get the requiredguidance.
Afamily plays a pivotal role in any society, thereby increasing thenecessity for the awareness of the importance of stable families.Currently, divorce has become the huge challenge due to alteringwomen’s duties, pressure in the current economy, and impropercommunication. It is advisable that children consider the possibleimpact of a divorce on their children before deciding for take suchan action. Family therapy and counseling to comprehend and clarifyany arising issue is supposed to be the first consideration for anyfamily being faced by such hard situations. Couples with childrenshould be considerate of their children before deciding to terminatetheir marriages through a divorce as this would impact the innocentchildren. Though people appear to have high expectations prior togetting into marriage, the number of divorces is still on the rise.Under all circumstance, divorce should be considered as the lastoption to solving marriage issues and problems since it has moredisadvantages than advantages and children are the most affected.
Amos,Janine, Gwen Green, and Angela Hampton. Divorce.Milwaukee, WI: Gareth Stevens Pub., 2002. Print.
Behrend-MartiÌnez,Edward J. UnfitFor Marriage.Reno: University of Nevada Press, 2007. Print.
Lerner,Alicia Cafferty. Marriage.Detroit, Mich.: Greenhaven Press, 2009. Print.
Sahgal,Nayantara, and E. N MangatRai. Relationship.New Delhi: HarperCollins Publishers India, a joint venture with theIndia Today Group, 2008. Print.
Wilson,Mike. Divorce.Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2009. Print.